big news

As I have related ad nauseum, last Monday was my last big chemo and instead of celebrating, I managed to get really, really sick afterwards. This might not be unusual in the world of chemo, but for me it was, and it was a blow to my pride in accomplishing the process relatively unscathed.
There might be a reason to being so sick that your mind simply doesn't function: to keep it off the upcoming petscan. Had I not had such a bad week, I'd have probably driven myself and everyone around me utterly crazy in anticipation of the test that would reveal whether or not the chemo worked. I would have been even more, no - a lot more, neurotic than ever.
So Monday, with it's dietary limitations rolled around and I must have spent about 2 hours on the 'phone making sure what I was/not allowed to eat and when. No doubt, and quite correctly, the clerks must have thought this woman is 'heeltemal en vreeslik mal', which does not translate well for my mental state (from Afrikaans). And finally, it was Tuesday morning, with a hacking cough that I was told was not pneumonia, I went to do the scan, having spent hours of mediation working out how I was not going to cough and mess up the whole procedure. Some of us have got a lot to think about. ....
Reuven and I were mucking about in the house, getting ready to go to chemo (still getting Herceptin) and my doctor's appointment, when the doctor herself 'phoned. She said she wouldn't let me wait to hear the great news that the petscan results were in and couldn't be better. The petscan has a resolution above half a centimeter, so, while there is a chance of tiny bits of cancer, too small for the scan to find to remain, the scan itself shows NO cancer. Utterly overwhelming news. The flip side of the coin was that "I had and still have pneumonia" as also shown by the petscan, which is a lot more sensitive than a regular x-ray (which lied through it's teeth).
It's like breaking the tape on a marathon, only to collapse on the other side. A famous saying in Hebrew: the operation was a success, the patient is dead.
I HAVE to get better fast or they will not do the surgery and I have to have the surgery soon so as not to have wasted all this chemotherapy. I am in a tizz. Some people will do anything for attention.