A real scare and a lesson

I've been toying with writing about some of the more serious aspects of living with cancer, but so far, the overwhelming atmosphere at home is light-hearted. I'm consciously avoiding many topics, some of which I have considered, but the opportunity has yet to arise for putting down thoughts in a coherent manner. No doubt, they will eventualise.

So, our lives rush past and so far, touch wood, we have had no cause to divert from our party path. Until yesterday.

Between taking JH to the vet (he had his first flea) and my new, long-suffering book-keeper, planning a good supper - Guy might come home (he didn't), Friday being cleaning day, it was quite hectic here. The ringing 'phone sounded as it normally does, and gave no cause for concern.
A mushy brain still didn't register when the voice on the other side was a nurse from my oncologist's office. Not to take certain pills because of..... 'problem with the liver'.  My liver yet again! I've been avoiding that topic. Reuven, grimly assumes cancer spread to that place. I'm in a terrified panic. Eventually, between us, we managed to concoct the idea of 'phoning the doctor's office and asking for an explanation. This shows how far terror had overtaken normal thinking. My brain is total mush and I force myself to make supper - just try to keep busy doing something practical instead of going to bed and curling up in a very tight little ball. Reuven drives to the doctor, who has still not returned our call and gets the news that 'no, it's not cancer', it's the liver function and it might improve soon and there is alternative medication. Of course, everyone else would know that, but everyone else doesn't have the knee-jerk reaction to potential bad news from an oncologist.

This goes to show our pathetic capacity for withstanding a surprise onslaught from an unexpected direction. We know it's a marathon and not a battle, but when there's a new tangent, how utterly unable we were to deal with it. Even after straightening out the facts, I was left exhausted and shaky and just grateful that I had finished cooking, so that now, I could really get into bed and have a nap, with JH curled up in his new haircut on my legs.