Monday I had my 2nd "big chemo". No 2 of 6. This time, forearmed was forewarned and I had all the drugs lined up for Thursday, which was my hell-day last time. So, besides being tired as a corpse, I got through quite well.
Nancy R, who is something of a saint, is staying with us this week. Jimmy, in true JH character, has sucked up to her and shadows her endlessly. Nancy is not fooled, but I am still jealous of my turncoat, traitorous dog, fair weather friend.
Most of my hair has shed - if that's of any interest to anyone. I showered this morning. It is most peculiar to wash hair that simply falls out in your hands. Dr B was right: I should have shaved it off and saved a huge mess, fuss and bother.
I am NOT getting the right nutrition. Problem is I am too tired to take controle of it and RR is too busy to be interested. Maybe this weekend we can go to Grandpas and get liver and onions (oh!!!).
Lee has beeN sick and have had to keep her at a long army's length. She should have stayed in bed, but ran back and forth to classes.
Hopefully, within a day or so, I'll get back some energy. There is so much to do.
I am willing to sit it out until I get well, but I have a lot of plans for afterwards.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Monday February 20
Sitting in bed 6am before getting ready for the big chemo day. We had quite a busy weekend. it started quietly, with just RR & I home for supper and a little tv. It can be quite delicious to have the house to yourself. Saturday morning, Yamith, the shiputznik, arrived with helper and began work upstairs. They are scrupulously clean and neat. It's been taking them longer than expected because there was a lot of damage to the walls, which the meticulously fixed first. Etty came over and we went, with RR driving up to the Palm Beach Convention Center to see the show. The first thing I saw was a Holbeinesque set,like mine,but woth garnets and some dirty yellow stones, where mine has opals and diamonds and furthermore, comes in it's original box. I thought it would be great to buy another lovely set, but with an asking price of $50000.00. , I was forced to give up on it. In a way it's nice knowing that my pieces are T least comparable, and often better than what you see around. However, at a show like PBS, there are lots of outstanding pieces to drool overand they have prices ....eg an enamel brooch by Tiffany for $250000,00and we are not talking big diamonds here. Eveqn Ed bought nothing.
I guess the antiques mesmerized me and the adrenalin kept me going, but as we got to the last row, I was like a ballon that had it's air let out. In one swoosh, I was exhausted. I had to rest, not least because it was Israeli night. Hosts avi &Eliezra Kassuto a lot of people wished me well - no, pretty much everyone, but some got their clutches into me and started telling me all about their cancer. Why do they think I want to hear the details? The worst was someone explaining how you use a Penguin cap of dry ice fora few hours before chemo and it prevents your hair from falling out, Eventually, I told him "too lat!".
Yesterday morning, we went to Denny's for my steak and eggs breakfast. I forgot my pre-med pils and RR had to run home to fetch them. In my stress I took one instead of two and just hope it's not a problem. Val Jennings came over and gave us a marvelous yoga lesson. I fell wonderful doing it, but soon after, get tired - maybe it' digesting the steak and the fact that I often get tired I the afternoon, for many years,
Last night the Baraks and Barels came over and we put together a simple supper and tapped until both RR & I were exhausted. Also a customer and her husband came over and stayed talking to us for almost 2 hours. She is a lovely lady. I don't understand her mind regarding antiques, but we had a lot to talk about.
Now, it's time to get up and face the day.
I guess the antiques mesmerized me and the adrenalin kept me going, but as we got to the last row, I was like a ballon that had it's air let out. In one swoosh, I was exhausted. I had to rest, not least because it was Israeli night. Hosts avi &Eliezra Kassuto a lot of people wished me well - no, pretty much everyone, but some got their clutches into me and started telling me all about their cancer. Why do they think I want to hear the details? The worst was someone explaining how you use a Penguin cap of dry ice fora few hours before chemo and it prevents your hair from falling out, Eventually, I told him "too lat!".
Yesterday morning, we went to Denny's for my steak and eggs breakfast. I forgot my pre-med pils and RR had to run home to fetch them. In my stress I took one instead of two and just hope it's not a problem. Val Jennings came over and gave us a marvelous yoga lesson. I fell wonderful doing it, but soon after, get tired - maybe it' digesting the steak and the fact that I often get tired I the afternoon, for many years,
Last night the Baraks and Barels came over and we put together a simple supper and tapped until both RR & I were exhausted. Also a customer and her husband came over and stayed talking to us for almost 2 hours. She is a lovely lady. I don't understand her mind regarding antiques, but we had a lot to talk about.
Now, it's time to get up and face the day.
Today is somehow already Friday. Since yesterday my hair is really falling out. Despite the fact that you could stuff a sofa with what has wafted off my scalp, there seems to be tons more. So, it promises to be quite a long process. I am, as usual impatient & want to see how I look sans grey matting, and to play with scarves. The wig seems a bit false to me, but no doubt I'll get to it too.
Meanwhile, have got Yamith here to paint the boys' rooms - in fact the whole upstairs. Having had nothing but white my entire life, I've been shamed into getting color. After hours of deliberating, I' m going for blue. Guest bathroom yellow.
Meanwhile, have got Yamith here to paint the boys' rooms - in fact the whole upstairs. Having had nothing but white my entire life, I've been shamed into getting color. After hours of deliberating, I' m going for blue. Guest bathroom yellow.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Thursday 16th
----------------
Yesterday, I tried to learn how to update my blog, add 'photos and music, but it is very difficult when the teacher doesn't want to teach. I did not get very far.
My hair is falling out. Why was I concerned about the soup? There is no soup for it to fall into. It is going to take a while and it will fall all over the world. In a way, I am disappointed because I expected this dramatic event, as depicted in the stories: you wake up and it's all there on the pillow. Not at all.....tiny drips and drabs. Will there be little bald spots first? I am most curious to see how it pans out.
Myra, my aunt left yesterday too. We were all very sad to see her go and hope that she makes it back some time. I will add a few pics once my "teacher" shows me how to get them from the phone to the computer to the iPad. Tired just thinking of it.
En route home from the airport, we stopped in at Capri, a Cuban cafe/restaurant. It was a marvelous day - sunny, but not hot, with a light breeze gently playing with the overhead umbrellas. Outside, crowds of Spanish men gathered around the stone tables, playing a game that involved smashing bits down on the table. Not one person who walked in spoke English. We felt as though we were overseas. I sat with my back to the window, enjoying the gentle sun.
I have asked both of my boys to come home for the Pesach Seder. I also hope that Avital will make it. She told me that Reuven told her not to come now. Meanwhile, she is in Barcelona, so we will wait until next week to discuss it further.
----------------
Yesterday, I tried to learn how to update my blog, add 'photos and music, but it is very difficult when the teacher doesn't want to teach. I did not get very far.
My hair is falling out. Why was I concerned about the soup? There is no soup for it to fall into. It is going to take a while and it will fall all over the world. In a way, I am disappointed because I expected this dramatic event, as depicted in the stories: you wake up and it's all there on the pillow. Not at all.....tiny drips and drabs. Will there be little bald spots first? I am most curious to see how it pans out.
Myra, my aunt left yesterday too. We were all very sad to see her go and hope that she makes it back some time. I will add a few pics once my "teacher" shows me how to get them from the phone to the computer to the iPad. Tired just thinking of it.
En route home from the airport, we stopped in at Capri, a Cuban cafe/restaurant. It was a marvelous day - sunny, but not hot, with a light breeze gently playing with the overhead umbrellas. Outside, crowds of Spanish men gathered around the stone tables, playing a game that involved smashing bits down on the table. Not one person who walked in spoke English. We felt as though we were overseas. I sat with my back to the window, enjoying the gentle sun.
I have asked both of my boys to come home for the Pesach Seder. I also hope that Avital will make it. She told me that Reuven told her not to come now. Meanwhile, she is in Barcelona, so we will wait until next week to discuss it further.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Tuesday February 14
Another whole bunch of days flew by and I havn't had time to catch up.
Monday, yesterday was chemo - Herceptin only, so no biggie. Dr B examined me and says that the lumps under my arm are distinctly decreased in size. This means that - spit 3 times, knock on wood and all the rest, the chemo is working. Furthermore, today we went to see dr Gluck, who is a major specialist re Her2 and he was most positive as well. We all fell quite in love with him - including Reuven.
Went to South Beach and our favorite restaurant turned out to have bad "vibes" so we got up and left and abandoned the fancy tourist cafes for lunch at David's, which was fabulous and we pigged out entirely on Cuban food.
I think it cleared up my pimples because we came home and the look better
Monday, yesterday was chemo - Herceptin only, so no biggie. Dr B examined me and says that the lumps under my arm are distinctly decreased in size. This means that - spit 3 times, knock on wood and all the rest, the chemo is working. Furthermore, today we went to see dr Gluck, who is a major specialist re Her2 and he was most positive as well. We all fell quite in love with him - including Reuven.
Went to South Beach and our favorite restaurant turned out to have bad "vibes" so we got up and left and abandoned the fancy tourist cafes for lunch at David's, which was fabulous and we pigged out entirely on Cuban food.
I think it cleared up my pimples because we came home and the look better
Treatment
In order to justify sending the curious to my blog, let me say that I will have chemotherapy every week, usually on Mondays. Two weeks light, 3rd week the big guns that potentially make me sick. Have meds for it and right now, more important side-effect is my skin. Horrible, sore pimples. Has anyone got suggestions?
Friday about the 10
There isn't a great deal to write every day.
Yesterday, I got a wig. There is a specialist "salon" at the flea market on Sample Rd. I didn't know that you need an appointment, but eventually , I was seen by Michelle, with her long bleached blond mane. Initially, I tried grey,which is my natural color,but once you see the difference color makes, you get over it. So, I am now a sort of dyed blond. They make it so that it looks as though the roots are growing out, which is surprisingly nice. I wore the wig for Lee and Reuven to see and that's enough for now.
Today, one of my dreams came true: I had steak and eggs for breakfast at Denny's. With grits. I wolfed it down. For sure my appetite isn't normal - gargantuan as it was, I could have gone for another one. I'm being humoured - none is prepared to tell me that I'm being a pig.
Ed came around and showed me his new stuff. A few nice pieces, but too expensive. We went to get my things from Miguel, not all of which were done.
Tonight, some of the Israeli gang are coming for supper. Myra has made cholent & brisket, which smell divine. Why am I back to food?
Yesterday, I got a wig. There is a specialist "salon" at the flea market on Sample Rd. I didn't know that you need an appointment, but eventually , I was seen by Michelle, with her long bleached blond mane. Initially, I tried grey,which is my natural color,but once you see the difference color makes, you get over it. So, I am now a sort of dyed blond. They make it so that it looks as though the roots are growing out, which is surprisingly nice. I wore the wig for Lee and Reuven to see and that's enough for now.
Today, one of my dreams came true: I had steak and eggs for breakfast at Denny's. With grits. I wolfed it down. For sure my appetite isn't normal - gargantuan as it was, I could have gone for another one. I'm being humoured - none is prepared to tell me that I'm being a pig.
Ed came around and showed me his new stuff. A few nice pieces, but too expensive. We went to get my things from Miguel, not all of which were done.
Tonight, some of the Israeli gang are coming for supper. Myra has made cholent & brisket, which smell divine. Why am I back to food?
Wednesday February 8th
As you can see, two days have simply run away. Time flies when you are having fun........
Monday am I had my chemotherapy. It's he Hercepton only, but still took all morning. I' m almost back to the comfort & care of inter uterus baby - I sit under the blanket (chair could be more comfortable), buzzing along nicely on Benadryl, being cared for, especially w Myra around - the Mother of caretakers.
Rr took us for an enormous lunch at Stallones - they ate normally, but I gorged, followed by the best deep sleep in honks. That was great because we went out for an hour or so to see the Art Fair that Lee had arranged. There were various 2-d works on easels, a dummy w interesting couture and a stage w musicians. Snacks tables. A girl selling her zine and other works. What amazing accomplishments my ChookChook has.
One nasty phone call by a well-wisher who could throw the earth into serious mourning . Demanding to know exactly what kind of cancer I have and then groaning melodramatically at the reply.
Yesterday was a great day: got up at 5a.m., did some work, went for a little walk, ate and ate and ate. Nancy came to visit and of course, it,s pukka pukka pukka non stop. A break for a lovely lunch - I ate 90percent of the food, and too excited to have a rest.
Iliana phoned - a little rough on the ears because of hearing issues but nice of her.
Met Cyril & Lorraine for supper.
This morning, I have put on another 2 lbs, so I'm very close to my starting weight.
Today, I have to see marylou, the nurse p at dr bohrer's (no idea why) and then might go to Palm Beach to a small show, since I did miss Miami Beach.
I must be in terrifying shape: absolutely no interest in the antiques show. What is holding up horrifyingly, is my appetite. I am on some steroids - they put it in my veins, so please don't blame me for being a pill-popper. But I am guzzling nonstop, allthetime, without pausing to breathe. The shed pounds are happily back and blubbery. Criminally, everyone encourages me to eat. Myra even came up with a theory that it's water!!! Who is she fooling? I will Ned a set of wheels under my legs soon.
Monday am I had my chemotherapy. It's he Hercepton only, but still took all morning. I' m almost back to the comfort & care of inter uterus baby - I sit under the blanket (chair could be more comfortable), buzzing along nicely on Benadryl, being cared for, especially w Myra around - the Mother of caretakers.
Rr took us for an enormous lunch at Stallones - they ate normally, but I gorged, followed by the best deep sleep in honks. That was great because we went out for an hour or so to see the Art Fair that Lee had arranged. There were various 2-d works on easels, a dummy w interesting couture and a stage w musicians. Snacks tables. A girl selling her zine and other works. What amazing accomplishments my ChookChook has.
One nasty phone call by a well-wisher who could throw the earth into serious mourning . Demanding to know exactly what kind of cancer I have and then groaning melodramatically at the reply.
Yesterday was a great day: got up at 5a.m., did some work, went for a little walk, ate and ate and ate. Nancy came to visit and of course, it,s pukka pukka pukka non stop. A break for a lovely lunch - I ate 90percent of the food, and too excited to have a rest.
Iliana phoned - a little rough on the ears because of hearing issues but nice of her.
Met Cyril & Lorraine for supper.
This morning, I have put on another 2 lbs, so I'm very close to my starting weight.
Today, I have to see marylou, the nurse p at dr bohrer's (no idea why) and then might go to Palm Beach to a small show, since I did miss Miami Beach.
I must be in terrifying shape: absolutely no interest in the antiques show. What is holding up horrifyingly, is my appetite. I am on some steroids - they put it in my veins, so please don't blame me for being a pill-popper. But I am guzzling nonstop, allthetime, without pausing to breathe. The shed pounds are happily back and blubbery. Criminally, everyone encourages me to eat. Myra even came up with a theory that it's water!!! Who is she fooling? I will Ned a set of wheels under my legs soon.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Monday February 4
I love early mornings. The utter quiet of the world. The feeling that you are alone in the universe & it's yours. The air is fresh and you can pull a shawl around your neck & go & sit outside. A few birds squeak and scream in the distance and eventually Jimmie hendrix gets up and stomps quietly around, checking up on his territory. Even the first early golfers near to 8am sound less garish & will soon be on their way, leaving a cooing dove and chatting something else to accompany the belches of a frog on the lake.
Normally, by this time, I've been for a run, but today, I've begun the laundry. In this state, at least as tiring.
Lee has taken over a significant amount of my clothes. I still have lots left. Does this mean that she is deprived? Her closet is overflowing - literally bursting at the seams (I'm not allowed to touch it under any circumstances). Is this some Freudian thing about taking over from your parents?
The lovely partially overcast sky is clearing & I guess the sun will come out. Everyone knows that I love the rain, so soon I'll be driven indoors by too much light. Enjoy ing the last few minutes of my granola breakfast w jh finally schnoozing at my feat.
Normally, by this time, I've been for a run, but today, I've begun the laundry. In this state, at least as tiring.
Lee has taken over a significant amount of my clothes. I still have lots left. Does this mean that she is deprived? Her closet is overflowing - literally bursting at the seams (I'm not allowed to touch it under any circumstances). Is this some Freudian thing about taking over from your parents?
The lovely partially overcast sky is clearing & I guess the sun will come out. Everyone knows that I love the rain, so soon I'll be driven indoors by too much light. Enjoy ing the last few minutes of my granola breakfast w jh finally schnoozing at my feat.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Sunday, February 5
Happy to say that today was totally mundane. After a very lazy start, we went out for breakfast. Why do they serve such enormous portions in boca raton? One person gets sufficient for a hearty half dozen hungry diners. And what do you do with left-over omelette?
We went to look for videos at the library, but without adequate enthusiasm. Ideas???
While I came home to rest (read answer the 'phone), Reuven & Myra went to buy out a few shops. As we were preparing for a peaceful tea with krembos (if you don't know, you haven't lived), I caught Madame Minny peeing a river on my couch. I screamed to beat the band, proving that my lungs are still pretty viable. Lee's very sophisticated Italian friend thought that the Barbarians invaded again and finally, the rest of the gang cleaned up while I sulked in vindication that my noz is never wrong.
Lots of food being planned. I have put on about 4 lbs since Friday.
We went to look for videos at the library, but without adequate enthusiasm. Ideas???
While I came home to rest (read answer the 'phone), Reuven & Myra went to buy out a few shops. As we were preparing for a peaceful tea with krembos (if you don't know, you haven't lived), I caught Madame Minny peeing a river on my couch. I screamed to beat the band, proving that my lungs are still pretty viable. Lee's very sophisticated Italian friend thought that the Barbarians invaded again and finally, the rest of the gang cleaned up while I sulked in vindication that my noz is never wrong.
Lots of food being planned. I have put on about 4 lbs since Friday.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Saturday
It was like the sun coming out after a long hard gloomy spate. I woke up this morning feeling well. A little suspicious about whether it was true or whether the gloom was due back any minute. But it lasted through my first cup of tea, then a 2nd & even a badly-needed shower.
My aunt, Myra, is staying with us for a while. What a treat! I am so happy to have her here. I think that Reuven & Lee feel the same.
Reuven is friendly with everyone & one of his gym mates is a lady called Sara, who cooks home food. She made us a magnificent meal last night. I have definitely put on weight since then. Who would think that that's an accomplishment?
Am tired & going to rest.
My aunt, Myra, is staying with us for a while. What a treat! I am so happy to have her here. I think that Reuven & Lee feel the same.
Reuven is friendly with everyone & one of his gym mates is a lady called Sara, who cooks home food. She made us a magnificent meal last night. I have definitely put on weight since then. Who would think that that's an accomplishment?
Am tired & going to rest.
Today is Thursday, feb 2nd and it was my first really yuk day - started off with nausea that's different. It totally overwhelms the mind & leaves you in a weird daze. A pill puts the nausea under controle, but the brain still desists from operating & most of the day was spent napping.
Two problems: Reuven stayed home all day. He can't keep missing work like this. We will have to find a solution.
Irony of ironies: this week/month, we changed our medical insurance. This is going to be a big problem as the new company is (surprise) digging in their heels. I still don't have permission for Monday's treatment. The doctor's office won't tell me what preps to take until they get it. Even if we have a lawyer, I'll be dead before it's sorted out.
Two problems: Reuven stayed home all day. He can't keep missing work like this. We will have to find a solution.
Irony of ironies: this week/month, we changed our medical insurance. This is going to be a big problem as the new company is (surprise) digging in their heels. I still don't have permission for Monday's treatment. The doctor's office won't tell me what preps to take until they get it. Even if we have a lawyer, I'll be dead before it's sorted out.
I cannot absorb it all. You can't run 3 miles and then believe you are going to die soon. I feel too good. Just like normal.
I got an image of squatters invading your property and needing to be evicted. I intend evicting these squatters from my body.
Another image, as I woke up the day my port was inserted, was that my life has begun anew. Weird to say it,but I felt it is going to be a happier new llife, despite what I have to go through. So, I decided that that day was my new birthday.
So far, the highlights are that I had my first big chemotherapy. Reuben says it's like spending the day in the airport lounge. I will not allow him to sit around all day again. Fortunately, his office is very close to the oncologist, so no problem. Also lots of offers to drive me, some of which we will surely need down the road.
I had my hair chopped off - very short. Supposedly makes it easier when it falls out. Is it better to have long/short hairs fall into your food?
I got an image of squatters invading your property and needing to be evicted. I intend evicting these squatters from my body.
Another image, as I woke up the day my port was inserted, was that my life has begun anew. Weird to say it,but I felt it is going to be a happier new llife, despite what I have to go through. So, I decided that that day was my new birthday.
So far, the highlights are that I had my first big chemotherapy. Reuben says it's like spending the day in the airport lounge. I will not allow him to sit around all day again. Fortunately, his office is very close to the oncologist, so no problem. Also lots of offers to drive me, some of which we will surely need down the road.
I had my hair chopped off - very short. Supposedly makes it easier when it falls out. Is it better to have long/short hairs fall into your food?
They say that having a baby is the biggest revolution in your life.
I'm not sure that's true, because when you are pregnant, you have 9 months to get ready. There is an over abundance of material available to educate and prepare you for what's coming. But, when,you are a healthy 54 years old, run or swim almost every day and booom, you're told you have stage 4 highly aggressive cancer, it is a true bolt out of the blue.
Overwhelming in every way. Even I was reduced to a few Xanax to help me get through the first shocking week.
What a roller coaster:run from test to test, get punctured and lectured about a million things and terms that I never heard of, nor wanted to hear of. I must be grateful to the amazing efficiency of my all-lady team of doctors. They didn't waste a moment. Tik-tak all meetings &tests were lined up.
Within hours, I had a super-famous surgeon, a fabulous oncologist and now a lovely radiation specialist. Each surrounded by teams of efficient women, helping to put everything in place as smoothly as possible for such a rough process.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)